Friends versus Family

This story was shared by Mokokoma Mokhonoana. His narrative is as follows.

Somewhere in the book, I said that friends are family members that we have a choice over. While I still stand by that rant, I think that that somehow subtly suggests that family is “better than” friendship. Of which I totally disagree with. But, …

My disagreeing shouldn’t be read as me saying that friendship is better than family.

Here goes: Family is merely the result of a man and a woman’s having had sex.

The only people who had a say in the making of a family; is the man and the woman.

So, because of the mere fact that we had no contribution, or choice, to which family we were born into, friendship earns a point.

The best thing about family is the so-called “unconditional love.” So, they say.

There’s a lot that I can say about the good thing about being loved unconditionally, and, there’s a lot that I can say about the bad thing about being loved unconditionally.

(I will dedicate a writing to that someday; when time and inspiration permits.)

At the core of friendship lies a choice, and, an action. Furthermore, a friendship can be “dissolved,” should the parties involved feel that they no longer get, or need, what they got, or needed, out of the friendship. People grow. And with growth comes change. Therefore, ending a friendship shouldn’t really be seen as a “bad” thing.

If your love for the joker in me is what led to our being friends, should I call you a bad person for no longer being friends with me, should I run out of “Knock-knock” jokes?

… I think so, not. What makes friendship valued is that you mess up, “it’s over!” Or, rather, you mess up, and, it can be over. But, I’ve never heard of a kid that “broke up” with his mother. The closest that he can get: is breaking his mother’s house’s windows.

Which might explain why we value, and believe, compliments from friends, more than those paid by our family members. As one can’t help but feel that he’s told that he’s good-looking; merely because he’s a son to she who’s saying that he’s good-looking.

I say, friendship has more sincerity than “family-ship”. Friends tolerate you because they want to. Family members tolerate you because they have, or are expected, to.

Disclaimer: Er, … No, … I don’t have any issues with any of my family members :•)

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